America: you are to Bill O'Reilly what Kanye West is to the "fishsticks" joke.
Come on, America--don't you get it? Please, just get it, man!
"The Hating Bill O'Reilly Game" is more popular than ever these days. It's a really fun game, too. Actually I can't think of anything more fun than expressing your pure, boiling hatred for someone to a mass audience. That's why message board-posting became a nationwide craze, like the hula hoop or the macarena or crack-cocaine.
And it's anonymous! You can tell anyone in the world to go fuck a howler monkey and there's nothing they can do about it. [*At this point you're most likely scoffing at my hypocrisy for having a blog littered with vitriol and writing under an alias. But I have principles. The alias is for entertainment purposes only. If anyone reading this forum takes personal offense at any of my diatribes and would like to speak to me directly, I implore you to send me an email to present your case. Just don't expect an apology; and I'll still probably to tell you to shit in your hat.*]
Don't get me wrong: I am NO fan of Bill O'Reilly. I will never, ever defend him in any way, so let's just make that clear. After all, he's an extremely easy man to hate for many reasons: his unhesitant willingness to "report" total misinformation; his snide arrogance; the finger-wagging, his militant Catholicism, etc.
But public hatred is exactly what he wants. America, for whatever reason, just can't seem to understand that.
O'Reilly is in actuality nothing more than a televised circus clown. He's an entertainer, and his act consists of concocting "opinions" that are ludicrous and stupid and offensive and wrong, so that the character he's created all these years can remain believable.
I just can't understand how so many liberal Americans can, at this point, seem so appalled by O'Reilly's parlor tricks. It's acting. He's created a character; and all successful characters need gimmicks. Think about it: RuPaul needs to pretend he's a woman; Carlos Mencia needs to pretend he's Mexican; and Bill O'Reilly needs to pretend that he's a soulless dickhead. Ann Coulter does the same act; and Rush Limbaugh invented it. For all practical purposes, they are fucking Muppets.
Honestly, I do not for one second think that Bill O'Reilly truly believes any of the shit that blasts from his fat yap. He needs to make offensive and retarded statements because it's the only thing that will ever sustain his career. Just look at this shameless display of douchebaggery:
So why do we still buy this routine?
Eveything that Bill says in this clip is so woefully ignorant and stupid and (deliberately) false that it makes me want to puke my testacles out through my mouth. And that's why I can't stop laughing everytime I watch it. Come on people, do you really think any man with a Harvard degree could be that senseless and misinformed and philisophically fucked up? No way. Never. Bill just knows how to capitalize off of people by defecating on their ethics.
If you're able to see people like Bill O'Reilly (or Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh) for what they truly are--Muppets and circus clowns--then nothing they say can offend you ever again.
But still, The "Hating Bill O'Reilly Game" continues to be a widespread and growing trend. Pinko elitists like Keith Olbermann have capitalized on this schtick for years. There are so many exaggerated impersonations of Bill on Countdown that it sounds like a comedy act from the Camp Jabberwocky talent show.
Sorry Keith, but it's a tired act; at least on Sportscenter you actually had to keep your wits spry. Besides, everyone's doing the lambasting O'Reilly thing; but the only one who's truly succeeded in it is the masterful Stephen Colbert. And you, sir, are no Stephen Colbert...
The people who publicly condemn Bill O'Reilly are in reality his biggest supporters. He knows this. He's actually known it for years. He's not stupid, you are. Every time Bill makes some scandalous and incendiary remark, he accrues more-and-more public attention. And publicity--good or bad--always means cha-ching.
So relax, America. It's all entertainment. If Bill wasn't pretending to be an ass-faced jagaloon he'd be earnin'g minimum wage licking all the peanut-butter out of Ann Coulter's hatchet-wound.
But the schtick works; and he couldn't have done it without you, America; so give yourselves a pat on the back.
Please....just get it, man!
Come on, America--don't you get it? Please, just get it, man!
"The Hating Bill O'Reilly Game" is more popular than ever these days. It's a really fun game, too. Actually I can't think of anything more fun than expressing your pure, boiling hatred for someone to a mass audience. That's why message board-posting became a nationwide craze, like the hula hoop or the macarena or crack-cocaine.
And it's anonymous! You can tell anyone in the world to go fuck a howler monkey and there's nothing they can do about it. [*At this point you're most likely scoffing at my hypocrisy for having a blog littered with vitriol and writing under an alias. But I have principles. The alias is for entertainment purposes only. If anyone reading this forum takes personal offense at any of my diatribes and would like to speak to me directly, I implore you to send me an email to present your case. Just don't expect an apology; and I'll still probably to tell you to shit in your hat.*]
Don't get me wrong: I am NO fan of Bill O'Reilly. I will never, ever defend him in any way, so let's just make that clear. After all, he's an extremely easy man to hate for many reasons: his unhesitant willingness to "report" total misinformation; his snide arrogance; the finger-wagging, his militant Catholicism, etc.
But public hatred is exactly what he wants. America, for whatever reason, just can't seem to understand that.
O'Reilly is in actuality nothing more than a televised circus clown. He's an entertainer, and his act consists of concocting "opinions" that are ludicrous and stupid and offensive and wrong, so that the character he's created all these years can remain believable.
I just can't understand how so many liberal Americans can, at this point, seem so appalled by O'Reilly's parlor tricks. It's acting. He's created a character; and all successful characters need gimmicks. Think about it: RuPaul needs to pretend he's a woman; Carlos Mencia needs to pretend he's Mexican; and Bill O'Reilly needs to pretend that he's a soulless dickhead. Ann Coulter does the same act; and Rush Limbaugh invented it. For all practical purposes, they are fucking Muppets.
Honestly, I do not for one second think that Bill O'Reilly truly believes any of the shit that blasts from his fat yap. He needs to make offensive and retarded statements because it's the only thing that will ever sustain his career. Just look at this shameless display of douchebaggery:
So why do we still buy this routine?
Eveything that Bill says in this clip is so woefully ignorant and stupid and (deliberately) false that it makes me want to puke my testacles out through my mouth. And that's why I can't stop laughing everytime I watch it. Come on people, do you really think any man with a Harvard degree could be that senseless and misinformed and philisophically fucked up? No way. Never. Bill just knows how to capitalize off of people by defecating on their ethics.
If you're able to see people like Bill O'Reilly (or Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh) for what they truly are--Muppets and circus clowns--then nothing they say can offend you ever again.
But still, The "Hating Bill O'Reilly Game" continues to be a widespread and growing trend. Pinko elitists like Keith Olbermann have capitalized on this schtick for years. There are so many exaggerated impersonations of Bill on Countdown that it sounds like a comedy act from the Camp Jabberwocky talent show.
Sorry Keith, but it's a tired act; at least on Sportscenter you actually had to keep your wits spry. Besides, everyone's doing the lambasting O'Reilly thing; but the only one who's truly succeeded in it is the masterful Stephen Colbert. And you, sir, are no Stephen Colbert...
The people who publicly condemn Bill O'Reilly are in reality his biggest supporters. He knows this. He's actually known it for years. He's not stupid, you are. Every time Bill makes some scandalous and incendiary remark, he accrues more-and-more public attention. And publicity--good or bad--always means cha-ching.
So relax, America. It's all entertainment. If Bill wasn't pretending to be an ass-faced jagaloon he'd be earnin'g minimum wage licking all the peanut-butter out of Ann Coulter's hatchet-wound.
But the schtick works; and he couldn't have done it without you, America; so give yourselves a pat on the back.
Please....just get it, man!
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